Parking ??? WTF

Toe-knee, to tell you the truth, like a good christian I am, I was totally shocked to learn that phrase. Parking!!
There are much nicer things to talk about than idolising Mr Sheen !! Really, I better go and tell dear Sister Taffy Crockett, to see what she has to say....

Better yet, I might ask Father Bob on Speaking in Tongues !! I reckon John would love this bit.

btw thx for the blog firefox extension tip... I've actually created this blog entry with that tool, it's Fucken Brilliant.

Nice Guys....

If you read the comments from my post about Crime and Punishment, Tony had advised me not to pay attention to the moral & ethical teachings from Catholic School. Well mate, it's a bit late now!!
I wish I had you around at the time telling me "Slakbarsted, don't pay attention to that bloody sister at School. Here have $20 for you to go down to the local TAB and bet on the greyhounds. Don't forget to give me 50% of any profits"

I can assure you that due to my hearing loss I had the perfect excuse for not paying attention to those lessons in School. In fact I consider myself lucky in having to avoid morning prayers, to tell you the truth most of my classmates envied me in missing out those prayers.
:D

However it was difficult if not impossible, not to turn out as a nice guy as a result of this type of Schooling. I did come out of School as a nice guy, destined to wander in the wilderness of no sex land. I had a warped sense of mascuilinity and of course had no idea on how to get a root.
Fortunately, after discovering that "No more Mr Nice Guy" website (see the links section), I can set myself on the right path.

I hope that will answer your question Tony... btw that pic of me on your blog is higly overrated, it's missing a third nipple, bigger belly and fyi, my legs are shaved.

Crime and Punishment

My dear readers, I would like to share a good book with you although I've not finished the book yet. (It's only 656 pages long, a little light reading for those lazy summer days :P)

It's called "Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (No I can't read a bloody word of Russian, the book has been translated into English)

When the main character kills two women, one premeditated and one in the heat of the moment, totally unplanned. I'm barely a quarter a way through the book and he is already battling his conscience.

But it got me thinking whether or not there is such a thing named "conscience" or is it a socially learnt behaviour ? When I was at Catholic school I was taught that stealing is wrong and that I would expected to be caught, NO MATTER WHAT.
So I decided to test this little theory out by stealing a pen from one of those cheapie $2 shops when I was 10. As I tucked that pen in my pocket, sure enough, those voices had started to drive me nuts.

"What the fuck are you doing ? Don't you know that you will be caught, remember what the sister said at School. Oh shit, you might as well as go to hell now you sinner !!!!"

At the same time I was desperately trying to calm myself down.

"Be cool, don't do anything out of the ordinary, just walk outside the shop and wait for mum"

Despite that schizophrenic threatening episode, my heart was thumping like a turbo charged WRX and my eyes were wide like an owl on the lookout for the security guard waiting to pounce on me to accuse me of theft. I just followed my mother outside the shop as she didn't buy anything.

Fuck me!!

It wasn't until I realised I had got away with it and the threat of being caught had eased that my thoughts were finally brought under my control.

Interesting !!


I wonder if the whole episode had been played out differently if I hadn't been taught that stealing is wrong and the possible consequences of committing it. Hmmmmmm... this train of thought can keep me going for a little while..

In the mean time.. please feel free to discuss this...

Lord of the Flies

Don't ask me how this got started, it just happened over this weekend when my flat had become infested with flies. Bloody Flies !!! My flatmate had used some Aeroguard since we didn't have any flyspray to blast them to kingdom come.

I didn't bother to count how many had conveniently lay themselves in the empty bath tub to die, with their trademark leg twitching while dying on their backs. I don't need to remind you, my dear reader, what an abomination this was. Soon the bathroom had resembled some kind of battle ground with flies littered around the window pane and bath tub. With the occasional smart arse buzzing around taunting my failure to kill them off.

Satisfied that I had dispatched the remaining infidels in the bathroom, I made my way into the lounge room and took one look at the north facing window to discover that they had called for reinforcements!!

Fuuuuucccckkk!!

More drastic action was required, since I was not in possession of any weapons of mass destruction I reached for the next best thing. The trusty vacuum cleaner!!

This is officially a war now, first the bathroom, which was bad enough but the invasion of the lounge room was crossing the line. Let's engage in a little game of tit-for-tat shall we. Now that my secret weapon is fully charged, I'd never thought I'd live to see the day that howling sound of a vacuum cleaner would be music to my ears!!

The enemy must have some kind of telepathic ability, a scout must have realised my true intentions in using the vacuum cleaner. For they had started to scurry in all directions and some of the truly dumb ones had panicked thinking they could escape through the window.
It was too easy, these ones were giving up without a fight. Still they didn't surrender either and I had no intention of taking any prisoners.

Once the dumb ones were safely tucked away inside the vacuum cleaner bag, I resumed the hunt turning left, right, up and down in attempt to follow the source of the taunts. I realised that there were too many hiding places and it would be a waste of time checking each one when I had no grenades to flush them out.

I went back to the bathroom to mop up the dead bodies there, sure enough some had indeed made their way back into the bathroom from the lounge room. Probably looking for survivors to administer first aid to... whatever... how sweet it was to catch them by surprise and it was an appropriate time to let out an evil, diabolical laugh.

Rejuvenated by the latest round of victories in the bathroom, I hungered for more and went back into the lounge room. First stop was the kitchen, to the north was a sliding window with a fly screen behind the glass. Lo and behold, the enemy was there regrouping, planning their next stage of attack.

"Kitchen.... clear!!"

Now that the command post had been wiped out, there was little left to do except catch a few survivors around the lounge room. I was confident that the enemy had been eradicated, until I saw two usurpers sitting on the TV & DVD remote mooning me in defiance.

It doesn't matter any more, the problem is now managable under my control, albiet a few insurgents intent on derailling my new regime.

Testing Testing Testing.. hello is this thing on ?? Ahh.. yep can read you loud and clear now that it's up on the blog!!